SPAM
You just can’t get away from it anymore. This picture illustrates how I feel. A spammer just commented on one of my posts: “All of these spammy comments seem a bit ridiculous!”
Apparently, spammers and spam-bots alike have resorted to self-ridicule trying to push, wedge, twist, and squeeze their way onto my blog. It didn’t work. I ruthlessly deleted it, sparing no means to destroy it forever. RIP Spammy. In case you wondered, I kind of like ridding the world of Spam.
Wow. I’m so speechless that I’m going to write a triple-digit-word blog post.
High School is just around the corner, and I’m preparing to face it. And when I say face it, this is what I mean: I’m going to hit it at full speed, just like a linebacker slams a running back. That’s how. Except, unlike a linebacker, I’ll probably bounce off and wake up wondering just what hit me. Maybe a linebacker. I know it’ll be tough, but I’m ready to face the music, err, the homework. “High School: the mouse race to prepare you for the rat race.” I think that pretty much sums it up. Of course, any good High School student should be telling me that I should sight my source for that quote. So, for you good students out there, that quote is of unknown origin. Now, for you good students who noticed I didn’t state whose quote that was, you also should have noticed that I should have said “cite my source” instead of “sight my source”. I don’t expect most high school students to catch both those errors, because “Our bombs are smarter than our high school students. At least they can find Kuwait.” That quote was from A. Whitney Brown, you whipper-snappers. Anyway, I digress. Until the fun starts, I’ll be gearing up. Have you ever noticed how gearing up for school has changed drastically over the last few decades? Back in the 20th century (Yes, the 20th century), gearing up for school involved getting one or two new pairs of pants or a dress or two (or refurbishing yours or getting hand-me-downs from older siblings or acquaintances). Maybe you would get some pencils, pens, and some rubber boots. Nowadays, two months before school starts, big stores are already exploiting the commercial potential of the “holiday” of Back to School. Between the 4th of July and Halloween, the stores have decided to make the return to educational facilities a money-making ordeal. To stay “in”, you just have to get an iPod (to help you study, of course), multiple new complete outfits from name-brand retailers, a new binder or two, a new backpack, maybe a laptop, new shoes, and the list goes on longer than your teacher can string out a lecture on parasitic nematodes. And you know how long that really is. But retail hype is not what education is all about. It’s about the learning, the homework, the friends made, the smell of new books, and that glorious feeling of a sunny spring day afternoon following school. That’s what it’s about, and that’s what I’m about to face. Just like a linebacker.
After a brief hiatus from blogging, I now return. It’s been a while, I know, but I hope to recapture with rapture the minds and hearts of my readers. Thanks for coming back and I hope to be at least somewhat consistent. I hope to reuse this blog to hone my writing skills and keep up to date with people and vice versa. There seems to be a regrowth of bloggers and I have rejoined the fray. That’s all for now.
Tim Tebow with "John 3:16" written on his eye black.
Here is a pictue of Tim Tebow and what he wears during each game. (See last post.)
Picture courtesy of TIME Magazine.
I’m not one for idolizing sports stars, but I go out of my way today to tell you about one who seems to be a great guy. Quarterback Tim Tebow, who is a homeschooler and a Christian, just won the BCS Championship (College football championship) with his team, the Florida Gators. As is his custom, on those lines that quarterbacks have below their eye, the words “John 3:16″ were written. The junior was given an MVP award, not surprisingly, after leading the team throughout the season, and posting 232 passing yards and 2 TDs, and 108 rushing yards in the championship game (to contrast, the opposing team’s quarterback had -18 rushing yards). Tebow also won the Heisman trophy earlier this year.
That’s all for now. I hope to post again soon.
“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.”
How dumb do they think we are!? Here’s some whacked-out warnings:
On an Australian iron: Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Keep out of children.
On a can of air freshener: For use by trained personnel only.
On a package of peanuts: May contain nuts.
In a washing machine manual: Caution: You must remove clothes before washing.
On a toilet in Michigan: Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.
On a portable stroller: Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
And last, but not least,
On a helmet mounted mirror used by cyclists: Remember, objects in mirror are actually behind you.
When you think of good writing, you think of this blog that you’re reading, right? Okay, maybe not. But I have some writing tips for you to keep your righting attractive. Wait, was it ever? Here’s the tips:
1. Avoid alliterations. Always
2. Comparisons are as bad as alliterations.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They are old hat).
4. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
6. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
7. One should never generalize.
8. One word sentences? Eliminate.
9. Contractions aren’t necessary
10. Be more or less specific.
11. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
12. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
13. Who needs rhetorical questions?
14. Exaggeration is a billion times words than understatement.
15. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than are necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
16. And, DO NOT plagiarize! -Excerpts from The Little Big Book of Laughter
I hope that the readers of this blog had a very good time celebrating Thanksgiving with their family or friends. I sure did. Thanksgiving isn’t just about turkey, stuffing, and football, but also about giving thanks to God for what he has given us. We with our culture need to remember that.
Here are some fun facts about thanksgiving:
I’ll be back in a week or so for a quote of the week!
For you weather-watchers
Atlantic IR Satellite
Before I start, I want to make something clear. I don’t know about ya’ll, but I love weather. I’ve been fascinated with the atmosphere, climate, barometric pressure, and Doppler radar since I was quite young. So, if weather is not your thing, go read the funnies. If you enjoy weather-watching as much as I do, then dig in!
I’m glad I’m not vacationing in the Antilles right now. This infrared satellite image from TWC doesn’t look very good. Maybe this will bust, but in my crystal ball, this is looking like it could be three in a row. Going from right to left in the Atlantic, the first storm is Hurricane Danielle (Currently a Category 2). She’s expected to turn north soon, hit Bermuda, and then weaken as she heads into colder waters. She could still hit New England or Canada as a strong Tropical Storm. The second storm has just been upgraded to Tropical Storm status. TS Earl is expected to continue plugging due west for a while, while strengthening to possible Category 2 Status. He could blast through the Antilles and then into the Gulf, possibly hitting Mexico or the Southeast US. The third storm really isn’t getting much media attention, but it is just west of Africa where many strong hurricanes develop. Whether it becomes a hurricane all depends on whether it organizes or not. It should become apparent in the next day or two. I’ll try to post a Tropical Update in a few days, and thanks for tolerating my hobby. Now, everyone who has been reading the funnies can come back. I’m done for now.
One more thing! Without looking at a map, can you name the island group that the third storm is close to, just West of Africa?